Third Times A Charm
Have had 3 EMA’s (one at a time, no overlap), met all three on-line.
3) What were the circumstances that led you to having an affair?
My husband was going through some ‘stuff’ at the time, was verbally abusive to me, liked playing mind games on me. I didn’t set out to have an affair, just needed a man’s input into my situation, because I truly loved my husband, and wanted to understand what was going on in his head. Affair #1 (2 years) and I played games on-line for a couple of years before we met. I already knew I liked him, but when we met, the fireworks were amazing, and ended up with my heart wrapped around his little finger! Affair #2 (1 year) and I met on THE popular social network, flirted a little, then a lot, then thought he just might be the one to take my heart away from #1, that sort of worked, lol, #2 is VERY romantic and attentive, made me feel I was the most beautiful woman in the world. They were both married, both had children at home (mine are grown and almost gone), so neither were in a position to offer me more. I’m a normal woman, I still want ‘happily forever after’. I met affair partner #3 (6 mos, ongoing) on Ashley Madison… I signed up there thinking I just needed mindless sex to get my mind off #1 and #2 (who still want to see me & will always ‘love’ me). Met with 5-6 guys from Ashely Madison that did absolutely nothing for me, I couldn’t even bring myself to give them a kiss, always disappointed. Would only meet them in public places, during the day… I was about to give up. Then along came affair partner #3, lol! This guy is awesome, strong and confident, a hard worker, single, there are enough differences to make it interesting, but we still have so much in common… he is EVERYTHING I would be looking for if I was single too… and he says he loves me!
4) Would you say that you are in an emotional affair or are you in it purely for the sex?
I’m an emotional person, I follow my heart more than my head, so have definitely been emotional affairs for me… on the other hand, the *S*E*X* has been spectacular!
6) How often do you get to see your affair partner? Where do you typically meet?
Affair partner #1, 1-2 a month, rarely the same place twice, usually was somewhere public, then off to somewhere private. Affair Partner #2, 1-2 a month, but sometimes not for a month or so, always at a motel in another town, sometimes we stayed there, sometimes we went off and did ‘out of bed’ things. Affair Partner #3, once a week when he’s in town, but his job sends him out of town often, so I may not see him for a month or more during those times, we almost always meet at his house, sometimes going out, sometimes staying in. He’s due home this weekend after being gone for 6 weeks, and I can’t wait to see him!
7) Have you ever been caught or had a close call?
8) What precautions do you take to ensure you maintain secrecy?
Keep computer locked, use a secret email acct. On a land line, when they have called me at work, I erase the call from the caller ID if he calls me, if I call him, I’ll enter a bogus number to redial after we hang up. I keep my cell phone locked, immediately erase the calls, the voice mails, and the text’s, and I saved their numbers under my girlfriend’s names. Have stopped all public chit-chat on the websites where I met them. And I keep a close eye on the vehicles behind me when I’m headed out to meet him, just in case I’m being followed. I have gotten into a habit of doing these things, is second nature for me now. I do know there is GPS equipment that could easily be installed on my car, but wouldn’t have a clue as to what I was looking at if I found it, so is pretty much the only area where I feel vulnerable.
9) Do you ever feel guilty? If so, how do you manage those feelings?
I was very nervous and guilty after the first few times. I really did love my husband at one time. His words and actions pretty much erased all of the guilt I felt, just as they erased the love.
10) What’s the best and worst part about being in an affair?
I have met three amazing men, three good men, they were there for me when I needed a pair of loving arms around me, made me feel good about myself, took me to places I never would have gone to if they hadn’t been in my life, and did things to me in bed that left me sore and begging for more… and very eagerly awaiting the next time, lol! The very best part ~ Affair partner #3 loves me, loves showing me off, and I love him, and admire that strength and confidence he has, I can so easily see myself in my ‘happily ever after’ with him. The only bad part ~ letting go of #1 and #2, it wasn’t easy for me, was very wrapped up during each affair, but was for the best in the end.
I wish I had someone to talk to, to share my happiness with… and would have been nice during the times when the nervousness, guilt, confusion, and hurt had taken over. It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me, but have adjusted, learned to live for myself, and am in the works of getting out of my marriage and back on my own two feet so I can date affair partner #3 the proper way. All in all, what I’ve been through in the last 5 years has been a good thing!
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