1) Age, sex, marital status
29, female, married
2) When did you first begin your affair? How did you meet your affair partner?
4 months ago, we met online
3) What were the circumstances that led you to having an affair?
I first began straying from my marriage after falling out of love with my husband due to his failure to be a partner in the marriage. I was making all the money, doing all the housework, and doing the majority of the child care. All the while he would constantly complain that I didn’t cook him dinner often enough, or keep the house clean enough, or give him enough sex. I married him because we were great friends, but the sex was never good. As he began to disappoint me in all other areas of marriage, it became unbearable. I reached the breaking point when I met someone who had the gall to pursue me even though he knew I was married. I realized, why should I be missing out on sex? I’m already missing out on a real partnership anyway. That person did not end up being a good long term affair partner candidate, but it made me realize I needed to find someone that is.
4) Would you say that you are in an emotional affair or are you in it purely for the sex?
We did start out as purely for the sex, but have been growing closer. It’s impossible to know what kind of emotions will come into play as we continue to get to know each other better as people outside of our intense physical attraction. I didn’t think I wanted to get this involved with anyone, but now that I am, I don’t regret it, and I want to see where it leads.
5) What impact has having an affair had on your marriage? Has it improved it? Made it worse? I
firmly believe it has improved my marriage. I care a whole lot less about my husbands constant nagging, so there is way less arguing going on. I have a much higher sex drive than ever, due to the fact that I now know what sexual satisfaction actually feels like, and he does reap the benefits of my extra sexual energy. He doesn’t need to know I am closing my eyes and imagining he is my other man! 6) How often do you get so see your affair partner? Where do you typically meet?
We have some trouble meeting up sometimes. We both have very busy schedules, and we live about an hour and a half apart. We try to get at least one long afternoon together in a hotel per month, and 1 or 2 short meetings in between, wherever we can.
7) Have you ever been caught or had a close call?
Never been caught, or had a close call. We are both excellent planners. There have been a couple times we thought something might get in the way of a planned day together, but so far nothing has.
8) What precautions do you take to ensure you maintain secrecy?
We only talk by text, or phone calls at specific times. We try not to meet up on the same week day too much to avoid patterns.
9) Do you ever feel guilty? If so, how do you manage those feelings?
No guilt at all. I had thought of cheating many times, but didn’t do it until I knew I had lost any shred of respect for my husband as a man. I would feel guilt if I didn’t honestly feel he had driven me to this.
10) What’s the best and worst part about being in an affair?
The best part is having someone in my life that I can totally let go with. Since we don’t ever have to see each others annoying habits, or deal with the boring day to day aspects of living together, we can give each other nothing but the best of ourselves. Plus, I can let him indulge all my dirtiest fantasies without worrying about him having to sit across from my father at thanksgiving dinner! The worst part about it is having to make sure my tracks are always covered, and being careful not to bring something up in conversation that I found out about from the other man. Sometimes I catch myself about to say something about a topic we have been discussing, and have to think “oh yeah, H doesn’t know anything about that”. But all in all, I find it very easy to remain undetected.
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