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Facebook photos
October 20, 2012
9:14 am
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Hi all.
I was curious & looked for my MM wife on Facebook I didn't know if she had a profile or not so just took pot luck, low & behold she popped up.
I looked at her photos & I now feel like crap & ending the affair.
She is really attractive, good figure, very smart & the pair of them look so happy in the photos which are on there of them together.
I can't help but look at them over & over again.
I wish I had just left it but being nosey got the better of me & now I'm doubting what I have with MM.
Why couldn't I just leave it.
Thanks xx

October 20, 2012
9:26 am
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Each and every member in this forum are here because they all have one thing in common – CURIOSITY !!
I for one in spite of a happy marriage life am still seeking casual flings frequently cos I am always curious to look for a lil more fun..
In your case, I wonder why you are feeling bad at all :) In fact, you should be feeling otherwise cos this guy who has a female for a W who is all attractive and smart.. And yet, he comes looking for you cos you give him something that he couldn't feel content with his W..
Unless either of you feel guilty of cheating on your spouses and as long as both of you enjoy each other, I am still looking for a VALID reason for you to draw the curtains on your A !!

October 20, 2012
10:06 am
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MM's W just joined fb this year.
Now MM and I are friends on fb but never comment or contact through there. He made me a friend so that I could look at his friends in SA.
Since W joined she has tagged him in loads of pictures – family, holidays et.al.
No I'm not jealous of the hamster-faced woman ( :roll: :evil: ).
What I did noticed though was that on family photo's MM is always between his 2 daughters with his arms round them and the W is on the end with no arms round anyone.
Pictures of the two of them are smiling but no contact or closeness.

There are quite a few of him on there from a few years ago so I now know how he looked 10 years or so ago Laugh Laugh .

So don't read too much into the 'happy family' snaps. We can all pull of a convincing smile.

Don't cry over the past, it has gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful
October 20, 2012
12:05 pm
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The "happy family" photos on FB mean nothing. In my case they are ALWAYS posted by MM's wife and she tags him. I see it as desperation on her part to get the message across "hands off he's mine". I have fun looking at the photos – like the day he spent 3 hours in bed with me, before the photos of his son's birthday party; or the photo with his daughter at her graduation, with his hair not quite dry from the shower with me; or the anniversary dinner, just before he packed to go on a weekend with me. I know what he is really thinking about in those photos, and it's not how pretty his wife is! Laugh

Don’t you dare remember me the moment I start forgetting you.
October 20, 2012
1:23 pm
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Stupid facebook!!! I also am guilty of continuously looking at OM's wife's profile. I can't help myself :(

But, I believe 90% of what people post on facebook is all bullshit, put on there for show, to make everyone else think their lives are wonderfully happy. OM and his W both have hardly any pictures together, they're mostly all of their kids. And the pics of them together they aren't very close, and IMO, he looks sad and miserable. That being said, though, he also wrote a pretty nice birthday message for her. Again, probably for show. I try not to let it all get to me, but it's hard sometimes. I just try to remind myself, if he didn't want me, or what we have, he would end it. And he hasn't, even though I have tried to end it with him multiple times. He's not going anywhere….and that has to stand for something. So try to tell yourself that too. There's no reason for you to end it!!

October 20, 2012
2:33 pm

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Well you wont find many unhappy family photos on facebook.

She probably is happy, she is probably blissfully unaware that her husband is having an affair.

Maybe you will change your mind or not, but I don't necessarily think it is bad to get a comprehensive view of what you are in the middle of. Whatever you you decide going forward, at least you are making an informed decision.

Would you have felt better if she was some manly beast? One you peak in pandoras box, litle comfort is found – this is a popular thread topic, you can probably go back a few months and find some other responses if you aren't getting a lot of feedback on this one.

"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy." -Robert Anthony “It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires a great deal of strength to decide what to do.” ― Elbert Hubbard "The path of least resistance is the path of the loser." - HG Wells
October 20, 2012
3:27 pm
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I am also guilty of this and there is lots of photos of them together as a couple but if he looks on mine or my husbands he will find the same. The only photo that has got to me was a wedding photo and he commented this year on there anniversary that she looked beautiful. He had been with me 2 days before. She is also always writing that she loves him and how they are doing things together like bed, sex etc. But I know It's for show as my best friend lives next door to them and she has told my friend they rarely have sex. Also she wrote on once had a great mornin in bed with my h with breakfast in bed love you. And when she wrote it he had been in my bed for 4 hours. He does at times write love you to but then I tell my h I love him sometimes.

October 20, 2012
3:47 pm
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Princess K, your MM's W sounds just like mine. It's hilarious some of the comments she posts. The way I see it, a couple madly in love shouldn't need to tell the whole world about it. In 99% of cases it's all one-sided. A bit like a cat pissing in her corner to claim her territory, except in this case, the corner is FB! :-)

Don’t you dare remember me the moment I start forgetting you.
October 21, 2012
2:41 am
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I actually looked up his and her profiles well before the affair occurred, when we were just friends. I wanted to know more about him, even though he told me tons each time we were around one another. When I saw his wife and kids (I knew about their existence but hadn't seen them yet), I sunk into a guilt phase. I knew I was falling for him (and felt the rumblings from him that he was falling for me) and it hurt to know that his wife was pretty amazing.

Like: better person than I. Which is probably one of the reasons he married her.

I learned a lot of things about her: namely he had lied that she didn't enjoy the things he did and that she was obese. There is only one photo of them together and they were both smiling with full toothy grins, the kind you have when you actually like one another. And it almost stopped me.

Thing is, their FBs are pretty barren: his has a photo of him w/ the kids and hers has very few photos at all. I never see photos of them on vacation or enjoying themselves with family get-togethers. Even in their house, the photos are few, far between and several years old. It made things easier, but I never fully forget that one photo and realize I'm just a skinnier, less threatening version of his W.

I've often wondered if his wife ever looked me up, since the mini-D-Day revealed my full name on my answering service. I suppose she may have been a little surprised at how normal I was, if she did.

Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles - A fine film, yet long.
October 21, 2012
12:22 pm
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Smiler and Kallie J, are those genuine pics of you in your profiles?

Just curious.

October 21, 2012
12:47 pm
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"Funguy" wrote: Smiler and Kallie J, are those genuine pics of you in your profiles?

Just curious.

Hi Funguy

It's not a photo of me but just lets say it's pretty damn close! If one of my friends came on this site, they would guess it was me……! :D

Don’t you dare remember me the moment I start forgetting you.
October 21, 2012
4:49 pm
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"Smiler" wrote: Smiler and Kallie J, are those genuine pics of you in your profiles?

Just curious.

Hi Funguy

It's not a photo of me but just lets say it's pretty damn close! If one of my friends came on this site, they would guess it was me……! :D

Funguy.
Nawhh, I could not get my body reduced enough to use as an avatar. :roll: :roll: , but the heels are pretty close Laugh

Don't cry over the past, it has gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful
October 21, 2012
5:17 pm

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I must be foolish cause I actually think many people are posting pictures of themselves with what they think is their happy spouse in a happy marriage. Mos people hold on to the hope that when their beloved spouse stood before god and family and spoke their vows they intend to keep them.

In the world outside of an affair message board – this actually happens. People commit to each other, and despite challenges, work through them.

I think a lot people assume their spouse is a person of integrity. Affairs aren't devastating because we expect them.

"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy." -Robert Anthony “It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires a great deal of strength to decide what to do.” ― Elbert Hubbard "The path of least resistance is the path of the loser." - HG Wells
October 21, 2012
7:18 pm
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I have never looked at their FB or their W's. Perhaps that belongs in the post of how to stay unattached.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
October 22, 2012
12:12 pm
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Don't let it make you feel insecure. He obviously has an attraction to you. If beauty were only skin deep THEN you'd had a reason to break up…perhaps…but it isn't, and you don't…

I'm guilty also. My MM is no longer of FB. His W and I are "friends". Don't ask me why I accepted the request. But that was a long time ago. And she is very pretty. Not pretty enough for him, IMHO, but still very pretty. And she looks completely different than I do, so, in my mind, it's difficult to compare the two of us.

Now, looking at her profile pic and seeing him with her arms wrapped around him makes me cringe sometimes. But then I remind myself that the pics NEVER have him with his arms around her, so I'm okay again. And then when she puts a status update of going away on business or going out with friends, I have to smile because, more often than not, he has already told me about her going away so we can talk/skype. :twisted:

October 22, 2012
12:15 pm
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And I think we can fairly establish that FunGuy has a thing for long legs in high heels ;) Laugh

October 22, 2012
12:29 pm
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There are some advantages of having MM's W on FB. She's just been tagged in a really disgusting photo! She is drunk, her hair needs washed, her dress is nasty and the diet's obviously not working! So today I'm feeling rather smug as I wear my little sundress to the swimming pool with my newly washed hair, my skin glowing from drinking water and with a teeny little waist and toned abs! Especially since I know MM HATES when she gets drunk! Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh

Don’t you dare remember me the moment I start forgetting you.
October 22, 2012
1:44 pm
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I looked up exOMs W's facebook shortly after we met. She is very pretty, but I had already seen her picture in their house, including their wedding pictures. I didn't have a lot of emotional investment in him, so they didn't bother me.

CM and I both have our FB set to the highest privacy level. I can't even be found by name search and neither can he. I am glad I have never seen his FB and only once did I see a very small picture of him and her together on his phone. I couldn't make out details except to see that she is much shorter than me. I have shown him things on my FB, but he can't just go and look.

Oh, and OF COURSE I only put up the happy pictures. I never post status updates, or even reply on anything. I don't like living my life under a microscope. Laugh

October 22, 2012
1:52 pm
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MM does not have a FB page but his W does. She has it locked down tight…..but I can get to it so I do. I like to see all the photos….and have copied some :twisted: Laugh

I do not feel guilty at all and I know she has looked at my FB page as MM told me….I don't care…..she knows we dated in HS….so I am sure it was just curiosity….However, I did go through my security setting and hid, changed or deleted info that might bite me in the ass….like phone number etc…..

If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders.
October 22, 2012
1:55 pm
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Oh, I might add that pictures of them together are non-existant and the ones that are they have their child between them….MM is never touching her, etc.

If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders.
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