1) Age, sex, marital status
I am a 33 year old female who has been married for 11 years
2) When did you first begin your affair? How did you meet your affair partner?
About 3-4months ago. We originally met at work but stopped working together before the affair actually started. It started very casually about a week after I left that job.
3) What were the circumstances that led you to having an affair?
Sex, pure and simple. I haven’t wanted sex with my husband for probably 5 or 6 years. Since first having kids I guess. When I met my OM (other man) I was very physically attracted to him. Both of us started out wanting a crazy one night stand.
4) Would you say that you are in an emotional affair or are you in it purely for the sex?
100% Emotional. We have yet to even HAVE sex even though that’s what it started out being about.
5) What impact has having an affair had on your marriage? Has it improved it? Made it worse?
It has improved my sex life with my husband ten fold for sure. I am so turned on after seeing or talking to my OM, HB (husband) gets the benefits of that. Other than our sex life I can’t really say it’s changed much. It has made me realize just how bad our marriage has been though. I thought I could live without that emotional connection to someone, I’d given up on it and moved on or so I’d thought. Now that I’ve had that with someone I don’t know if I can keep going in my marriage without that.
6) How often do you get so see your affair partner? Where do you typically meet?
Usually only on weekends. My husband works weekends so OM and I will get together Sunday mornings and go hiking or for breakfast or just drive around and be together for a few hours. Occasionally we’ll sneak a lunch date in here and there during the week if we can both get away from work.
7) Have you ever been caught or had a close call?
8 ) What precautions do you take to ensure you maintain secrecy?
Obviously not telling anyone about it!! He doesn’t need to worry because he is single. I have been trying not to do anything outside of my normal routine. I’ve always gone hiking one morning on the weekends, I limit msging or texting while I’m at home and try to do it all during the day at work. I’ve asked him not to wear any cologne or scented stuff as the one time we did fool around I came home smelling like him and needed to shower before HB got home from work.
9) Do you ever feel guilty? If so, how do you manage those feelings?
At first I didn’t, occasionally when I look at my kids and what the ramifications of this could do to their lives I do. I tell myself this is just a casual thing, that I’d never actually leave HB for OM. You can justify just about anything when you put your mind to it unfortunately
10) What’s the best and worst part about being in an affair?
The best part is the emotional high you get from being with that other person you connect with, it’s like a drug. The worst is when things are not going so great and you have to go through it alone. You cannot talk about having an affair with all your married friends, it just does not happen.
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